So it's exam time again, and things are getting stressful. It's hard, because you've got to worry about all of the normal things, such as whether you got dressed properly or not, whether you have writing all over your face and whether you're speaking English, and then you've got all of the school things to worry about, like acting "normal", sorting out everyone else's problems and pretending to have a social life. Then, on top of all of that, you're expected to do well at things! I mean, what? "Normal people" shouldn't be able to do that much multitasking anyway!
Okay, honestly? I usually do okay at school. I mean, I get the grades. I'm not good at any of the other stuff. I don't act right. I can't hold people's gazes; my words slip from my mouth before I can get my tongue around them properly. But it's okay, like everyone keeps telling me. It's okay, because I'm "clever".
It doesn't matter that I'm socially incapable. It doesn't matter that I don't even get on with any of my friends. It doesn't matter that every day of my life has become a constant line of worry and panic. It doesn't matter, because I'm "clever".
And that's the other thing. I'm slipping. My A's are turning into B's, my B's into C's, and there's nothing that I can do about it. Everyone keeps saying,
You need to revise!
Otherwise you'll fail.
Exams.
They're really soon!
Don't sleep,
Prepare!
Learn!
Revise.
Be clever.
You won't get a job.
You won't get a life.
You'll end up as nothing!
REVISE!
I don't know, it just all seems as though everyone expects me to do well, but I secretly know that I'm losing even that.
It's like I just can't cope, and the pressure that everyone keeps putting on top of me is driving me slowly to insanity.
They're only exams.
Don't matter.
There are more important things!
Why do you even care?
Go get a proper life instead!
Stress. It's real and it's painful. I must sound so bad, like all I'm worried about is exams and grades, but that's how people are making me feel, not the other way around. I want to do well.
Because time's running out.
And there's nothing that I can do.
On the brighter side, I'm alive, and I'm trying.
Enjoy your lives, and don't be me :-)
Word of The Day: Faith
Emily out. xox
